I am a survivor. In February of 2005 I was diagnosed with Non Hodgkin’s Lymphoma (blood borne cancer disease). I was diagnosed after having had a tumor taken out of my neck. I sat in the doctor’s office as he pulled out a chart and began telling me the percentage of people who beat this cancer and the percentage of surviving. None of the percentages were 100%. This began the toughest fight I would ever face. I spent the rest of the year having chemotherapy, taking pills, getting sick, and eating scrambled eggs and Ramen noodles. I had the support from my family, friends and my fellow workers at Hiller Systems.
After I was diagnosed with cancer, a whirlwind of activity began. I had so many tests to go through. I had an MRI, a CT scan, a PET scan, and probably some other tests from the alphabet. They found three more, smaller tumors around my neck and vocal cords. I moved from a stage one to a stage two cancer level. If you do not know, the higher the stage, the further along your cancer is. The doctor and I discussed the options available for treatment. He was not in favor of radiation, because it could do more damage to my neck, throat, and mouth. We agreed that chemotherapy would be the best course of treatment. I went home after that appointment and cried. All I could remember was there was a chance that I would not make it, and there were things I still needed to do. All of my family and friends called to get an update on the diagnoses and treatment, I let the phone ring. I could not answer it, or talk to anyone. I had to get my head around the fact I was in for the toughest fight of my life.
My first day of chemotherapy was here. I went into the Oncologist office and sat in a big recliner. We started about 9:00 A.M. All day they kept taking the empty bags down and hanging new ones. They gave me medicine to counter-act the potential side effects, and that helped me sleep through most of the treatment. The needle finally came out around 3:00 P.M. The following six months would consist of more Chemotherapy, PET Scans, shots, pills, and finding the strength to keep on fighting.
The morning after my second chemotherapy treatment I was taking a shower, and the first physical side-effect became apparent. I washed my hair, looked down at my hands, and they were full of hair. From this point on, my hair would fall out by the hand full. It was at this point that I received an email from one of my coworkers. Dave Faller, a long time co-worker and friend had shaved his head, as well as several other friends all in a show of support. The beginning of the following week, a bunch of my coworkers helped me shave my head in the warehouse on our lunch break. They made it a game, took pictures, and made funny hair styles in my head. The following days would have my facial hair fall out, eye brows, arm hair, and leg hair. I found out when you have a bald head, you are cold all the time. Hair on your head helps retain heat.
As the chemotherapy treatment progressed, the sicker and more fatigued I would become. There were days I could not get out of bed. This is when I was at my worst. It was a struggle to get out of bad, a struggle to eat, a struggle to survive. If at any point I did not think I would make it through this, this was that time. I had trouble eating....nothing tasted good, I had sores in my mouth that felt like I was swallowing broken glass. If I did manage to get food down it usually did not stay long. I saw first hand why some people give up. You spend most of your time in bed or sick. If it was not for the great support network, I do not know if I would have found the strength to fight. Bottom line, no one should ever have to go through this alone.
Fast forwarding through chemotherapy, being sick and tired all the time. August 3rd is here, this would be my last day of chemotherapy. I have received my latest PET scan results; all of the tumors are gone....my body is clean of all cancer, I have won the fight. The last therapy session is to ensure the cancer stays gone. This was the best therapy session, my mom sat with me for the whole day as if to put the exclamation point on the end of the sentence, “the cancer is gone!”.
My birthday was coming up in a few weeks after my final treatment. The doctor said I could go back to eating real food whenever my body could tolerate the food. I made a plan, and several people from my office were ready. The week of my birthday would start my food fest. It started with pizza, went to fried chicken and then Mexican. I wanted all of the things I could not eat while fighting the cancer. I even ate a whole bag of grapes for dinner one night. Grapes, believe it or not, was something the doctor had said to stay from.
The following months would have more doctors’ appointments and PET scans. The night before was always tough, all I could think of was the conversation in that office explaining there was a chance I would not make it through this. I would get little to no sleep, go see the doctor, and he would tell me everything was great. There were still no cancer cells detected, my blood work was good, and I was gaining my strength back.
Fast forward to present time. The date is August 4th, 2010 and I have a follow up appointment with the Oncologist. Five years have passed from my last chemotherapy treatment. This was the day I have been looking for since that life changing day five years ago. I want to hear him say the words, “you are cured”. The appointment went very well. The doctor was as excited as I was. He checked all of my blood work, did a physical examine, and concluded that I was indeed, cured.
The fight was over and I had won. I could not have made it through without my family, friends, and the people at work who supported me through this terrible time in my life. This has changed the way I look at my life. The small things that use to get me upset or mad, just does not matter anymore. I watch people sitting in traffic getting upset; I turn my radio up and remember that I am glad to be able to sit in traffic. I ask that everyone take a look at their lives and realize what is truly important, and surround yourself with only positive things. You do not need a brush with death to enjoy your life to the fullest.
Today, I am part of the Light the Night team. Every year, we walk two miles to raise money to find a cure for Leukemia and Lymphoma. To be on the oceanfront and see the waves of lighted balloons carried by people there to support me and everyone else battling a blood cancer is somewhat overwhelming. I see the red balloons, which are people supporting someone who has cancer. There are the white balloons for the survivors, or the people still fighting. The gold balloons are for people walking in memory of someone who lost the fight. As I look out over the sea of balloons, I always say a small prayer for the white balloons and a prayer for the gold balloons. The thought that someone could be carrying a gold balloon for me, just makes me want to live my life to the fullest and enjoy everything life has to offer and everyone around me.
Thanks for reading my story - Dan Clift
If you are interested in supporting the Light the Night Team. Visit the web site and find out more.
In this picture: Mark Herzog, Dan Clift & Belinda Arthur 5 years later....
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